For when emotional decompression is needed, but the van is the size of a shoebox

Living in a van means redefining personal space.
You can’t storm off dramatically.
You can’t slam a door unless it’s the fridge.
So you build a protocol, a shared language for “I love you, but I need to not hear you breathe for five minutes.”

Here’s how it works:

• Step 1: Declare the Mood.
  Use a code phrase. Something like “I’m going to check the compost bin” or “I need a moss moment.”
  It’s not passive-aggressive, it’s pre-agreed emotional shorthand.
• Step 2: Divide the Zones.
  One person gets the kettle zone.
  The other gets the bed zone.
  If you’re lucky, someone gets the outdoors.
• Step 3: No Commentary.
  This is not the time for “Are you okay?” or “You always do this.”
  It’s the time for silence, snacks, and maybe a playlist called “Vanlife Emotional Buffer.”
• Step 4: Re-entry Ritual.
  When the mood lifts, re-enter with a peace offering.
  Tea. A biscuit. A gentle “Sorry, I was a bit composty.”
  No need for a full debrief, just a soft reset.

Bonus Tip:
Headphones are sacred. If someone’s wearing them, they’re in emotional flight mode. Respect the altitude.

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