For when shared plumbing meets emotional plumbing

Let’s be honest, nothing tests a relationship like a shared loo in a van.
It’s intimate. It’s awkward. It’s occasionally hilarious.
And if you don’t set ground rules early, it becomes the emotional Bermuda Triangle.

Here’s how to survive the toilet tension:

• Rule 1: No Commentary.
  If someone’s in there, they’re in a sacred zone.
  No jokes. No questions. No “Are you done?”
  Treat it like a confessional booth, private, brief, and judgment-free.
• Rule 2: No Lingering.
  The van is small. The air is shared.
  Be efficient. Be kind. Be gone.
• Rule 3: No Emotional Processing Mid-Flush.
  If you’re upset, wait until you’re both at least two metres from the compost bin.
  Nothing says “relationship strain” like crying next to a chemical toilet.
• Rule 4: Emergency Protocols.
  If nature calls and the van loo is occupied, have a backup plan.
  A nearby café. A forest walk. A very fast jog with purpose.

Helpful Tip:
Keep a “toilet humour” playlist.
If you’re going to suffer, at least do it to ABBA.

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